The Office

April 11, 2010 at 11:24 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

Unfortunately, my office does not have any Jim like characters.  That makes me sad.

Life at the office is good.  I’m learning lots of things and I have a feeling that I could be really good at this job – once someone shows me what I should be doing.  It’s been a busy two weeks at the Marketing Place.  They are all doing their performance reviews, which have to be presented to the senior heads of our department, and then to the senior head of the whole department.  So everyone’s been busy and running around and no one really has time to train me.  I’ve been asking the girls I work with to help me out, and they basically do.

However.

These girls are all about my age (ranging from 22-28ish), but they all ignore me.  Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t mean or anything.  They just act like I’m not there.  And that makes me come home and cry.  Partially because I am all hormonal – partially because I’m a 13 year old girl and no one wants to be my friend.

I know that’s stupid.  You don’t have to tell me.

It’s hard being at work when it seems like no one wants you to be around.  All the girls in my department go to lunch with each other and eat lunch in the office with each other and joke around with each other – and I’m not included.  So I eat lunch alone and do things alone and sometimes they invite me, but mostly they don’t.  I don’t invite myself because I don’t want to be “THAT GIRL”.  THAT GIRL that just thinks she’s a part of the gang when she’s not.  I know I am not part of the gang yet, but I’d like to think with time that I would be.  Right now, I’m still waiting outside the clubhouse.

I don’t expect everyone to immediately be my friend or even immediately like me.  But I would expect that people would include me in things just so that I wouldn’t be the new girl and I wouldn’t feel so left out.  I’ve always struggled to make friends.  I just have no idea how.  I don’t know how someone becomes your friend – I guess they just do.

So it’s been upsetting me.  And it makes me feel like I’m in 6th grade again.  I’m struggling because of it.  I know it will get better and I’m still the new girl and so on – but it’s still not fun.

This week should be better because I can get more training from the senior people in the department and I can learn whole processes, instead of bits and pieces at a time.

At the big fancy Marketing Place, I have to be a Vanilla version of myself.  I can’t laugh and smile and make everyone do the same.  So at work, I’m not fun Vanilla Sarah.  I tone myself down and don’t giggle at things and try to keep it all locked up.  Which is hard.  Which is why I send ridiculous emails to everyone to keep myself sane.

I am not good at being Vanilla.  I’m like…Moose Tracks ice cream.  Or something else with lots of good things in it.  But I can only be Moose Tracks when I’m not at work.  And that’s just one more thing I’m having a hard time with.

The job really is good though.  I know I can learn everything I need to and seriously kick some ass once I get good.  Or at least kick some ass of the Marketing Place Mean Girls.

Because on Wednesdays, they wear pink.  And they can all return to their homes on Whore Island.

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The great boy detox of 2010

January 10, 2010 at 1:22 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

Or maybe something like it.  We will see how long this lasts.  I’m hoping a while, at least.

Where to begin?

On Christmas, I ended up going down to the bar, as my cousin’s husband is a bartender and had to work on Christmas.  I had been drinking all day, so what did it matter if I kept on drinking at the bar?  It didn’t.  So I was there with my cousins and having a great time.  A group of guys walked in and were sort of talking with us.  But not really.

Then a beer appeared in front of me, courtesy of a boy down at the corner of the bar named Tim.

Why thank you Tim, I do so love beer.

So I started talking to Tim.  He was cute and funny and very charming and a CHEF and you know, sort of like an adult male with his shit seemingly together.  We talked for a long long while, exchanged numbers and flirted.  I have foggy memories of this because I had been drinking for 13 HOURS, so you know – my brain didn’t work.

I leave the bar to go back to my cousin’s house and Tim is texting me the whole time.  And he’s texting me the next morning.  We make plans to get together.  And we do.  We meet down at the bar again and have a nice night of drinks and conversation…and making out in a parking lot for 2 hours.  We both have homes – but the parking lot was there.  And it was easy.

Why is making out with someone in a parking lot like you’re 16 again so thrilling?  Like, awesomely so.  I’ve been waiting to do that again for AGES and HOLY CRAP, so much fun.

And yes, I’m that girl.

That brings us to New Year’s Eve.  He keeps on texting me, I keep on texting him.  It is making me smile because it’s been a long time since a boy has been interested in me.  We make plans for Sunday.  He says that he’s going to come over and make dinner for Lilo and I.  Lilo is excited, I am excited and you know, boys!

He comes over.  He makes us dinner.  He hangs out with me.  We have some fun times together.  There are some awkward moments, as there are when you’re having sexy moments with new people.  You don’t know what they like, they don’t know what you like, but you know, it happens.

I apparently did…SOMETHING that was wrong.  I don’t know what that something was, but it was something.  And since last Sunday, I’ve had minimal contact with him.  He texted me once on Monday and then I really didn’t hear from him again.  We were going to go out on Friday but once he stopped talking to me, I knew it wasn’t going to happen.  He left my house saying that yes, we were going to hang out, but totally did not want to touch me.  He went from being all over me to nothing in like, 12 hours flat.

I would really love to know what the hell I did or didn’t do to make this guy be so not about me.  Maybe it’s something within him.  But whatever happened – it’s done now.  So – that’s helpful.

Because my life can’t be simple, A was involved too.  I hadn’t been talking to him as much as I had been once Tim was in the picture, and that tipped him off that something was up.  I was then backed into a corner where I had to tell A that there was another boy that kind of liked me and so…yeah, now he knows.

I wasn’t dating A, but all of the sudden he was jealous and upset that I was sort of involved with someone else.  And he was sad.  The first question that A asked me was if I had slept with Tim yet.  I can’t even explain how much that upset and offended me.  I didn’t like the idea that the first thing that A thought I would do with a new guy is sleep with him.  It’s not something I do and he KNOWS that, being that he dated me.

We talked for a while and after the conversation was done, I was upset.  I didn’t want to have to tell A that way and he shouldn’t have been upset, given the fact that at any moment, if he wanted me to be around, he could have SAID SO and then, you know, problem solved.

No, not so much.

So now I have no men in my life.  And that’s okay, I think.  It’s frustrating to know that it doesn’t matter how old a guy is, he still can’t process life.  Or maybe it’s just the guys I pick to spend time with.  Regardless, they have issues that I can’t solve.

I would now like to start my great boy detox of 2010.  I’m not going to chase after boys, they can chase after me.  I’m not going to fawn over them if they have no interest.  If they don’t like me, then that’s it.  I’m not going to beat myself up and think I’m not good enough, as I always do because FUCK, I’m awesome.  I have so many other things in my life now to focus my energy on – getting a job, getting back into the frame of mind to go to the gym, revamping Cupcake Land and making it AWESOME, repaying all the people that have been supportive and great and wonderful while I’ve been a holy terror – that I don’t need to have someone else sucking up all my attention.

I really don’t.

Last year at this time, my life was together for the most part.  I had everything I needed.  I went into the summer with my life being on an absolute high note.  I need to get back to that time.  I need to get my life back in order and back to being productive and having it be a good life.

I’m not saying that this boy detox is going to go as well as I think it will go.  I’m sure I’ll cave and somehow end back in this place like, 4 months from now.  But maybe not.  Maybe since my life is going to be so different this year, I’ll be okay.

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God only knows what I’d be without you

December 17, 2009 at 12:30 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

I was talking to Lilo today (that’s not the important part) and she was talking about sending something to someone that is important to her.  She said that she liked having the people she loved know that they are appreciated.

Which got me to thinking because HELLO, NOTHING BUT FREE TIME OVER HERE.

I’ve had a rough couple of months in my life.  I’ve been a needy, demanding, whining, bitching, complaining, crying mess.  Like, a lot.  I have relied on people more than I should have, done things I didn’t mean to do and lashed out at those that just wanted to help.

But did I ever tell anyone how much I appreciated what they were doing for me?

It’s easy to tell someone that they mean something to you in the heat of the moment.  Or maybe it’s their birthday.  Otherwise, how often do you look at your friends and just thank them for being them, for being friends with you, for being supportive and lovely and just not leaving you when times are tough.

Of course, if they left you in tough times, that doesn’t make them a friend.  It makes them a shithead.  That’s neither here nor there.

I think that I mostly make it clear to the people that have been my main support system that I can’t ever thank them enough for being here.  They’ve listened and cried and shouted right along with me.  I couldn’t have survived all of this without my friends.  I need them to know how much I appreciate them – not just for the past few months, but for the past years that I’ve known them.  I need to thank newer friends for stepping up to the plate and accepting everything I’m throwing their way.  And so I will.

I also started thinking about all the people I’ve been supportive of.  Some of those people don’t ask for a lot from me.  Some of my friends I didn’t even realize that I was being supportive when I was because whatever I was doing was so slight or so easy.  I helped them out – that is what’s important.  Yet I have other friends that have just assumed that I’m going to be there to pick everything up, patch it back together and unconditionally love them.

That’s not to say that I’m not guilty of the same thing.  I know I am.  I would like to right that.

It makes you wonder.  If these people just think that I’m going to be the one to help them – what if I don’t?  Does that make me a bad friend for wanting someone to say “hey, thanks for all you do”?  Probably.  It doesn’t stop me from wanting to do that.  It doesn’t stop me from wishing that I could make friends of mine, from the past and present, realize that I’m important.

Again, that’s kind of selfish.

And yet,  I can’t stop myself from helping.

Everyone likes being needed.  Everyone wants to be wanted.  Sometimes that little extra mile to thank someone for merely existing in your life is all it takes.

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DONE

September 8, 2009 at 5:46 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

I’ve been out of a job for about a month now (in case maybe you don’t know how to read or something).  It hasn’t been the most fun month, but there’s not a lot of jobs out there.  So I do what I can and apply to things that I would be qualified for and that’s kind of how my day goes.

And then there’s my mother.

Maybe I haven’t really touched base on this much here, but my mom is kind of a raging bitch.  She’s not very supportive of anything that I do, she doesn’t help with my general self esteem problems and she’s just basically the devil.  When I got laid off, she asked if it was because of my work performance.  THANKS MOM YOU ARE SO HELPFUL RIGHT NOW.  She has been reminding me of all my failures in my life lately, because I need to know those, I guess?  She’s been sort of nasty and mean and entirely not helpful.

I’ve been feeling like shit for a while now – mostly since I lost my job.  It’s a huge blow to your life, mostly because you know, when you have a job that you like and it gets taken away, that sucks.  A lot. 

That kind of goes without saying though.

Anyway, my mom has taken it upon herself to tell EVERYONE that she knows that I am no longer employed.  I’m sure that the best way for me to find a new job is to find someone that works somewhere that can help get me in and you know, make me be more than just a piece of paper.  HOWEVER – my mom is telling her patients at work that I don’t have a job.  She’s telling just about everyone that she knows that I don’t have a job.  There are people that don’t even know me that know that I am unemployed and looking for work.  Then these people start talking to me and asking me how things are and so on and it’s like – you shouldn’t know that I don’t have a job.  But everyone does.  It’s bothersome.  I wish she would just STOP talking about it.  I feel like crap, other people are making me feel like crap (for other reasons, which I might talk about in a moment) and I would really love her to not be that way.

But I can’t tell her not to tell anyone because then she tells me that I’m being a brat or being unappreciative or something.  The fact is that I didn’t ask for her help – in fact, I don’t even want her help.  She doesn’t want to help me because she wants me to get back on my feet.  She wants to help me so that she can be right.  She LOVES being right.  It makes her happier than just about anything else.  So if she knows the person that ends up helping me get a job, then she’s right and I’m wrong (even though there’s no way for me to be wrong) and that makes her happy.

It’s screwed up.

The other thing that is making me completely insane is the way that she’s been acting about things regarding money when it comes to me having no job.  I’m not going to say that I’m completely broke, but you know, money is tight.  I’m only spending money on groceries and gas and really nothing else – I got pizza when my brother J was visiting on Saturday night and otherwise, I haven’t gotten so much as a sandwich out.  I know that it’s not something that I can do.  My grandparents (my mom’s parents, actually) have offered to help me out if I ever needed some cash for something – rent, loan payments for school, doctors visits if I don’t have insurance – and my parents haven’t.  I don’t want to take advantage of my grandparents that way.  I really hope it will never come to that.  But it’s nice to know that if it did, I could ask them and they would help me out.

I have gotten no such offer from my parents.

I wasn’t banking on them offering to help me out financially if I needed it, but you would think that maybe they would, knowing that I’m in a bit of a spot right now (having just moved out and all).  They haven’t and I know they won’t.  If my mom never offers, my dad won’t offer either – but then again, he only says 10 words to me every time he sees me.  So when I told my mom that I owed Lisa the Trainer some money because she trained me, my mom just told me that she already paid the part that she agreed to pay.  She didn’t say that she would cover it because she knows that things are rough where I am.  She just glared. 

The most that she’s done is bought me a few groceries.  I’m not saying that it’s not helpful and I don’t appreciate it or anything like that.  I’m saying WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?

Every afternoon my mom calls me and tells me how I could you know, fix my life.  I don’t need her telling me this.  I don’t need her helping me out this way.  A has told me about 400 times that I should just ignore her and smile politely and say thank you.  I can’t.  She gets under my skin in ways that I didn’t think human beings could.  She is not doing it out of kindness, but out of the way that she NEEDS to micromanage my life.  Micromanage anyone’s life, actually.

So.

This leads to lots of shouty time in Cupcake Land, many afternoons of me crying and me hanging up on my mom about 5 times a week.  I can’t take her.  I would stop answering the phone – that’s what I should do.  But she keeps on calling and calling and CALLING AND OMG CAN YOU PLEASE STOP?

Self esteem is at an all time low as of late.  I don’t like being around many people, I don’t like pretending to be having fun and I’m sort of not looking forward to an entire weekend with my family.  I’m stuck going and when I first said that I was going, it was when I had a job.  Things have changed a lot since then.

I’m realizing who the people are that I want to have around.  I can’t thank those people enough for being there for me.  When this is all said and done, I hope that I’ll be back to my normal self.  Soon. 

Very soon.

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Funemployment- week 2!

August 24, 2009 at 9:19 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

Although I’ve said vague things about it, I really haven’t gone into details about the fact that I no longer have a job.

Aside from my whining about it here and on twitter.  Deal with it.

Thursday before the wedding, BStP called me into his office.  I didn’t think much of it, because he does that sometimes.  Then he closed the door and started talking.  Since I’m a mature adult in control of my emotions, I started crying hysterically and freaking out.  What else was I supposed to do?  I have just moved out, I was going to be broke because of the wedding and I REALLY LOVED MY JOB.  Which isn’t my job anymore.  But whatever.  Then I got to leave work and drive the 4 hours to Vermont and try not to cry the entire way.

I was lucky that I had Lilo and Pam and A to talk to along the way.  My coworker Natalie also got laid off (along with 2 other coworkers) so she and I have been commiserating about our situation.  Except she already has a new job and I am still funemployed.

Last week I went to Foxwoods one day to play bingo, I went for long walks, I went to my friend’s pool and had lunch with my grandparents and went to drop off W at college in Vermont.

Now I have no idea what day of the week it is and I’m starting to get bored.  I’m going to have to find a whole bunch of new hobbies to amuse myself.  And the first hobby is going to be finding a new job! 

I’ve applied to a few places so far, but nothing yet.  The school that J used to go to is looking for someone to work in the office.  While that isn’t ideal, it still is a job.  With a paycheck.  And an opportunity to meet new people and have new experiences.  I’m waiting for them to call me so that I can get cracking on that.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy waking up late and doing nothing all day, but it feels weird to be doing so.  I feel like I’m not supposed to be screwing around like this, but there’s really nothing else for me to do.

I go back and forth about not having a job.  Some days I look at it as a great chance for me to do something different – to go back to school, to find a totally new career path, to just break out and do something crazy – whatever.  Most days though, I just feel dumb and stupid and lame and like a failure.  I know being laid off is not my fault.  I know that I didn’t do anything to make them want to get rid of me (aside from being low man on the totem pole, I guess).  I still feel like a totally reject when I admit that there are things I can’t do now that I don’t have a job.  I felt really lame when I was filing for unemployment yesterday.  I never thought that my life would be this way – I never thought that once everything finally came together, it would all fall apart.

It did.  Now I’m here.

So in week two of funemployment, I am going to knit more and work out more.  I’m going to make peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.  I’m going to make dinner so Lilo has something to eat when she comes home.  I’m going to clean up around here, do laundry, not make a mess, do the dishes.  I’m going to smile, find jobs, read more and be a nice girl.  I’m not going to cry and be upset and pout.  Those things do not change the situation I’m in.

I know that I will find something.  I just have no idea when that might be.  It’s hard not knowing when things will change.  I just know that they have to.

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Adventures in driving standard!

July 7, 2009 at 8:00 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

I commented briefly on how learning to drive a standard car is going.  Here’s another update: I suck. 

No really.  I seriously do.  But bless A’s heart, he’s not totally disgusted with me stalling out his car every 10 minutes.  And that’s really what it was on Friday. 

I started out okay.  I was driving just fine.  I got out of the driveway, I didn’t stall….and then…well, there was a hill.  A tiny hill.  And I lost my cool.  People started honking at me.  My nerves were shattered.  There was a hill that wasn’t even that big, but I stalled a few times on it.  We had to pull over so A could drive.

We went back to my house and decided to start again.  That was just fine with me.  I thought A and I could drive up to see future Cupcake Land.  The roads we were going to drive on were mostly flat and didn’t involve me having to stop so much.  WRONG.  I WAS SO WRONG.

I got to a stop sign..stalled…cars honked, I cried.  Got to the next stop sign and I was fine.  Got to a third stop sign..stalled, cars honked.  Got to a stop light and I was fine.  After the 4th stop, I was shaking pretty hard.  My nerves were totally shot and I was on edge.  A kept on telling me that things were fine and I would be fine and there’s nothing that I could do to screw up his car or anything.  I did not believe him. 

We got to a light on the way to Cupcake Land and I stalled at it 4 times.  I had to get out and let A drive because I just couldn’t do it anymore.  I couldn’t make myself concentrate enough to drive.  It was sad and I was super upset because it was just so lame. 

And it’s not even that I can’t figure it out.  It’s that my ratio of clutch to gas when shifting from a stop to first sucks so bad.  I don’t know how to fix it.  I mean, I suppose I do, but I have to go back to driving in parking lots until I can get a hold of myself and not get so upset when I drive.  It’s silly that I get upset because it’s not like driving is new to me – it’s the shifting part.  Once I get past first gear, I’m fine.  I can cruise along in 2nd or 3rd or whatever and not have any issues.  It’s getting there that throws me off.

At this rate, I will never ever drive the camaro.  I’m starting to think that I’m okay with it.  Besides, I don’t think that my parents want someone as spazzy as me behind the wheel.  Although W can drive it – and I’m seriously more responsible than he is.  I mean, he’s an 18 year old boy.  He wants to pick up the ladies.  I would just use it for boys to look at me.  Clearly they wouldn’t be the boys that I want to date and they would not want to date me either, merely have sexy times with the car…but whatever.  Close enough.

I think A and I are going to try it one more time.  I’m hoping it won’t be craptastic times again, but I think that it might be.  I don’t know when we will go driving, but I totally need a long break from being behind the wheel of his car.

I just need to remember – there’s no crying in driving stick.

(Also, that’s what she said.)

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Training session 3 – the one where I get hurt

June 2, 2009 at 3:35 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , )

Okay training session 3.  I was all ready to go.  I was like…bouncy pants.  I left work, I was excited and I made it almost on time (srsly rt 7).

So I did my warm up on the bike and Lisa the Trainer said “oh look, STAIRS”.  We went to the stairs.  First I was running up and down two sets of stairs.  For a while.  I don’t know how long.  It made me nervous though because the stairs were short (meaning that my entire foot didn’t fit on the stair) and I was worried as I bounded down the stairs that I would fall on my face.

Lisa the Trainer told me that she would catch me and I called her a liar.

Then I was supposed to run up the stairs 2 at a time.  So I did.  I kept on thinking I was going to fall on my face and then I would break my teeth and then I would have to go to the dentist and I would cry and OMG how could I be that much of a fail?  These are great things to think as you’re running up the stairs.  I highly recommend it. 

After we were done running up and down and NOT FALLING down the stairs, we went back into the gym to do some more squats.  Which I totally love.  Sort of.  Maybe.  Anyway, I started doing squats with the 10 pound medicine ball when all of the sudden I started to get a stabby pain in my butt.  I ignored it at first because I thought maybe it was just a stabby pain and that was that.

HA.  WRONG.

I did a few more squats.  Pain got worse.  I told Lisa the Trainer.  She was like “okay, we’re done with this.  Now we’re going to stretch”.  That meant that I was lying on the ground and she was pushing my legs in all sorts of directions and massaging my butt.  It was sexy for real.

Actually, her rubbing my butt was the most action I’ve gotten in a long time.  Which is sad.  And I wanted to tell her that but I figured that might be a little inappropriate.

(And since her trying to make the muscles in my butt stop seizing up was like…you know, the most anyone’s touched my butt in months, going to see the lady pocket doctor is going to be like…whoa.  I’m going to need to lie down after that.)

(Ew)

Lisa the Trainer kept on stretching my legs, asking me what hurt and where and how bad.  Then she cracked my back by accident…which was awesome.  She told me to call or text her today and let her know how my butt feels and if it was still tight I could come back in and she would stretch it out again. 

So far it feels pretty okay.  I stretched more last night and again this morning and I’ll stretch again when I get home and let her know. 

I walked out of the gym with my head held high…at least until Lisa the Trainer couldn’t see me anymore.  And then I started crying.  A lot.  I felt so dumb and lame and just stupid and fat when that happened.  I’m not totally a work out fiend,  but I work out enough that I feel like that shouldn’t have happened.  Granted, I don’t run up stairs 2 at a time, but still.  It was just really discouraging.  And I know.  I know my body doesn’t want me to work as hard as I’m making it work.  I know that those muscles aren’t being used all the time.  But I felt like a real failure.  I know Lisa the Trainer could sense it.  She kept on telling me that it was okay and that stuff like this happens and she gave me a big hug when I left.  I know it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, but still.  I just felt like although training hasn’t been easy, it hasn’t killed me either. 

I called Lilo once I got into my car and I started crying to her.  I was so overwhelmingly upset about something that is seemingly so dumb.  Then I got upset about the fact that I was upset.  So I kept on crying.

I finally pulled myself together and went on with my night.  As I said before, I feel fine now, mostly.  I know that there was nothing I could do to prevent what happens and I fear that it might happen again.  I’m not giving up though.  I’m just going to try harder and hope that my body wants to play along with me too.

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Protected: After the week I’ve had…

June 2, 2009 at 7:30 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

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Getting my ass kicked…

May 23, 2009 at 8:55 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

Last night was my evaluation session with my new trainer.  She’s my mom’s friend’s daughter and I’ve known her since I was little…but we were never close or anything.  She’s very nice and sweet and I think that she’ll be a good trainer for me.

Regardless.  She measured me (that was sad) and weighed me and got my BMI and all sorts of other things that reminded me that losing 40 pounds still makes you fat.  I kind of wanted to cry.

Then she had me do sit ups.  I did like 50 of those.  Then I did a punch of pushups.  Then I did jumping jacks.  Then I did some squats.  It was allllllllll just so much great fun.  This morning I woke up and I wondered why my shoulders were sore. I thought it was because I slept in a ball curled up on my side (which I don’t normally do).  Then I remembered the 15 pushups I did (from my knees, not actual ones) and now I can understand.

Basically, I’ll be seeing her twice a week and doing cardio things 3 times a week and having my ass kicked and I think that’s the way that it needs to be.  I’d like to tone myself up for the wedding, but you never know if that will actually work.  I know that Lisa (that would be the trainer) did a great job helping her mom out and her mom lost like, 5 inches from her waist or something.  Of course, I have no idea how often they met or what they did or how long that took.

But it’s almost June, I’ll be seeing her twice a week for a little over a month and I can maybe get something done in the 2 months leading up until the wedding, right?  Yes, I hope so.  It’s already bad enough that my dress has to be taken in just about everywhere, but as long as it is, let’s make it have to be taken in more.  Maybe I can be kinda cute at the wedding?  Yes?

If that makes sense.  Which I don’t think it does.

But expect to get updates every time I go to the trainer.  If I can move my arms, that is.  Otherwise maybe I’ll just hit my head on the keyboard and hope that words come out.

I know I had a bad week this week and that I gained weight, but whatever.  Today is hitting the reset button and I’m going back to eating like a normal person that eats when they are hungry and not when they want to cry at work.  Or cry because they are fat.  Or something like that.  Eating because you feel fat doesn’t really make much sense either.  I know I could have had all sorts of bad things last night…and I just had a Dr. Pepper.  A REGULAR ONE, OMG.  But it was sooooooooo good.  I needed that.  It was my one sweet thing.

Also, I got sort of into playing rock band last night and now my voice is sort of gone.  Way to go.  I can’t be trusted with video games either.

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Things I can and cannot do

April 15, 2009 at 3:21 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

Things I cannot do because I am too tall

  • find good places to hide when playing hide and go seek
  • win a limbo contest
  • stand up in attics
  • sit at tea parties
  • comfortably sit in the backseats of many cars
  • be a jockey
  • be one of santa’s elves
  • wear really cute shoes with big heels
  • be a munchkin
  • buy regular length pants
  • date boys with napoleon complexes

Wait, what was that last one?  Date boys that have napoleon complexes?

Well.  It’s a good thing that boy from Match.com has one of those. Now I don’t have to worry about him thinking that I’m fat because instead I’m too tall.  He saved me a panic attack or two.  I didn’t think he would like me once he met me anyway, but regardless.

He and I are the same damn height.  But I am too tall.  He only wants girls that are 5’4″ or shorter.  I’m not making this up.

He talked to me today and I was saying that I was wearing kitten heels.  He told me I must certain be like, 6’2″ with heels on.  I told him that it was closer to 6′.  He then told me that he did a lot of thinking and that while he LOVED my personality, I am just too tall for him.

Then he asked if we could be friends?  Because I’m so fabulous and the nicest person he’s (never) met since he moved up here.  He apologized for being a twatwaffle (thanks Lilo) and that’s what I needed to hear, that he was sorry for being the way he was being.

And no, I’m not upset that he doesn’t like me.  In fact, I’ve been laughing about it all afternoon.  How could I not?  I mean, no one has broken up with me before they started dating me on the basis that I am just too tall for them.  I’m tall, but that’s never been an issue.  I guess he’s way more insecure than I gave him credit for.  Thanks boy!

But I’m not going to feel bad about my height.  I’m not.  It’s taken me a while to appreciate how tall I am.  Everyone is always jealous that I’m so tall.  Well, it causes boys not to like me.  Whatever, he clearly wasn’t worth it.

So here’s a list of things I can do because I’m so tall:

  • reach things on high shelves
  • climb over things because my legs are so long
  • see over other people’s heads
  • breathe slightly cooler air at concerts
  • not ever have to get pants or dresses hemmed
  • listen to people say “ohh, you’re so tall. I’m jealous!”
  • be able to drink more (it’s true, don’t make me prove it)
  • hold my mom’s car keys over my head and taunt her with it
  • hold anything over my head and taunt people with it
  • always be seen in pictures
  • be awesome and just be me.

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