The wedding (I know you’ve all been waiting!)
Or not.
See if I care.
Right, so the wedding was this past weekend. Even after all my bitching and moaning and complaining and crying – it turned out to be okay. Heather was pleasant and only yelled at us once (because she was looking for a fight), the weather was beautiful and everything went off without a hitch.
And A? He was the best wedding date ever.
I went up to my grandparents house in Vermont on Thursday afternoon. I had my cousin Lauren in the car and we were following my grandparents. My uncle and my cousin Jess were already at the house. I totally would have never found the house by myself. I haven’t been to the house since I was like, 10. It was weird being back there and sleeping in my old bed. There’s a giant loft upstairs with 7 beds in it (because there are 7 grandkids) and just Lauren and I slept up there.
My uncle made us all breakfast on Friday morning, which was very lovely. I can’t tell you the last time someone made me a big breakfast like that. We then headed over to the inn to see Heather and get ready for the rehearsal and all that fun stuff.
The inn was beautiful. The view from the house that Heather and Tony (her new husband) and all their friends were staying in was just amazing. It was a BEAUTIFUL house.
We had lunch, checked into our rooms, moved stuff around and prepared for dinner. There was a BBQ up at the Jewel (that was the name of the house, yes it had a name. I know that’s weird) on Friday night for everyone. A was meeting me up at the house and I was so glad that he did. He really was a good buffer and just a great person to have around. People kept on suggesting that I should date him (HA! FUNNY STORY GUYS) and telling me how nice he was. Like maybe I didn’t know. At least he was able to keep me away from my parents so I didn’t slip and tell them about my upcoming funemployment.
Saturday morning we were up early to get our hair done down in Rutland. The lady that did my hair started out by putting it in giant sausage curls and then doing…something with it. I don’t know how they got my hair that way, but they did. There were 28 bobby pins holding that shit in place. I have to say, it really did hold up for a good 13-14 hours, through the wind and dancing and other tomfoolery. The necklace in the below photo? Heather made those necklaces for all the bridesmaids. You know, just in case getting married and planning a wedding wasn’t enough fun for her.
We grabbed lunch and the lady that did our makeup came by. I felt like a painted up doll and very awkward, but everyone tells me that I looked great. I just felt so weird in my own body. When A came up to the Jewel to get my camera, he kept on telling me how pretty I looked. And that’s more or less what everyone on facebook is saying too. But it was just weird.
The ceremony was short and sweet. The weather was perfect. Heather looked like a dream and Tony is so handsome. We took pictures up on the hill, took pictures with Tony’s Defender and then went down to cocktail hour (WHOO!) and that’s when the fun really began.
I just started drinking. A lot. Hard. As I had just lost my job, I needed to drink. The wedding was actually a really good distraction. Dinner was so good and we danced the night away. Really. It started out by everyone dancing to songs we all knew – and the night ended with us dancing to “She thinks my tractor’s sexy” and “Save a horse, ride a cowboy”. The reception was loud, the music was pumping and there was so much booze. I ditched my shoes and was dancing around barefoot with my cousins. Heather broke the bustle on her dress and didn’t care.
And A, bless him, put up with all of it. He was like the best wedding date. My grandma thought he was fabulous (and couldn’t stop telling me so) and he was so charming and engaging. I know I sort of threw him in the deep end because he didn’t know anyone at the wedding besides my family, but he did so well. He helped to keep my mind off the fact that I had no job, he looked great, he smelled fabulous AND I got him to dance. To Billie Jean. I win. I can’t ever thank him enough for being awesome wedding date guy, but Lilo says that he probably owes me for something anyway. Thanks Lilo.
Sunday morning there was brunch for Heather and Tony. A and I got up and went to brunch and I was nursing a nasty hangover. So nasty was this hangover that I was cursing children as they walked down the stairs. It was nice. We thought we had to check out at 11, but when we went to the front desk, they told us that we could stay a bit later. I went back to the room and took a nap and that made all the difference in the world. Suddenly I didn’t want to kill EVERYONE, I just wanted to kill some people.
The rest of the wedding party was up at the Jewel, as was my car. We drove back up there, packed up all the cars, loaded up everyone and we were on our way back to Connecticut. I had a 6 foot grill in the back of my car and a whole bunch of tiki torches. A had all my clothing, my dress, everything. Everyone’s stuff was in like, 4 different cars. It was at least amusing. We had a 6 car parade to get back to Connecticut and we all got seperated on the way home.
But I beat everyone back to Heather’s house and that’s what matters.
A was stopping by my house and I asked him to pick up pizza for me because on Sunday, I was so hungry and hungover still kinda and I just wanted to collapse. Also, my family left from Vermont to go to Cape Cod and I am watching the house this week (they come home tonight, thank god). And A did me one better. He stopped, got pizza, GOT ME ROOT BEER, brought all my shit into the house and fed evil demon Ollie. Man, he was really bringing his A game this weekend. I was so thrilled when I walked in the house and discovered all these things, I almost shouted “I LOVE YOU!”
I stopped myself. I often shout at that my friends when they do things that I like. But I realized that he doesn’t know that yet and we’re not exactly at the stage in our friendship where I would shout that at him. I didn’t want him to take it the wrong way. So I just thought it and fell down on the couch.
And that was Heather’s wedding weekend. Now I’m done. I can’t even believe it. The entire summer is like, done with – and so is the wedding. I can take time to relax now and enjoy my new place. Maybe. Sort of.
Weekend Update
Back from the wedding, which was actually very fun and nice and lovely. I know, after all that bitching. Heather was the most beautiful bride and she was so happy. It just about hurt to look at her, her smile was so big. I can’t even tell you how great that was. More on the wedding in another post (possibly with pictures!)
And in other news, I got laid off on Thursday, right before I left to go to the wedding. My last day is Friday. Yeah, I’m not dealing too well with it either
Where have I been?
Not blogging, that’s for sure. I didn’t mean for it to be like this, blog. Really. I kept on opening the page and staring into your blank text box, hoping something would happen. Other things would tear me away. I’m back now and I promise I’ll be good. I’ll never look at another blog again.
Don’t hate me, blog. I swear I only have hands for you. Mostly.
Again, ick.
There are about 900 things that have happened since I last blogged. It’s been a busy time in my life. The bridal shower and bachelorette party both happened and it was actually okay. Heather was late to the bridal shower but it worked out because the food wasn’t cooking correctly. She was nice and lovely and she was the old Heather that I really enjoy being around. Even the bachelorette party wasn’t terrible. Nothing was icky or weird or out of control.
For her present – the thing that she needed for her honeymoon – I actually ended up getting her 2 toothbrushes and some toothpaste. Heather got all excited because I wrapped it up in an anthropologie box and she thought it was something from there. WRONG. I thought one of the girls at the party was going to pee herself she was laughing so hard. Everyone really loved my idea and I was win about it.
Lilo and I also got the keys to Cupcake Land that weekend. It’s crazy to think that I will be moving out in 2 weeks…but back for a week to mind the animals while my family is in Cape Cod. I’ve moved some of my stuff over and that’s a start. We have a table there and everything. It’s weird to imagine not living here, but good, mostly because if I lived here any longer, someone would get killed. And by someone, I mean my mom. She brings out the best in me. Or the worst. Or something. Once I’m out, I know lots of things will be different.
Some things, however, will not change.
In Cupcake Land, there will still be shouty time. Shouty time is the time of the day or night or afternoon where you just shout. You can shout at other people, you can shout at things that don’t exist or you can just shout to shout. At least once a day is shouty time at my house. Sometimes it’s when I wake up to start my morning. Sometimes it’s before we all go to bed when my mom is being crazy. But shouty time will come with me to Cupcake Land. It’s actually sort of relaxing sometimes, just to shout at things. I’m glad Lilo will embrace shouty time. It’s good for everyone. Or just me and her.
Other than moving into Cupcake Land and upcoming wedding stuff, life has been rather dull. Work has been…well, tense to say the least. We lost our biggest client and it’s scary times at work. BStP called a meeting today and helped to calm our fears. We have good things coming down the road for us and that’s exciting. He’s going to help get us out of this mess and we’ll be a better company for it.
I’m so sweet and sentimental sometimes.
I’ve been in a really good mood the past 2 weeks. I smile a lot and I mean it when I say nice things, as opposed to lying through my teeth to everyone except my friends. I care about what people have to say. I’m really rather charming and lovely on the outside, but still my normal evil self on the inside. I’m not complaining. I feel good, I like how I look as of late and things in my life are looking up. We’re almost done with Heather’s wedding (3 weeks!), my dear friend Cashelle just got engaged (OMG LOVE YOU) and other things that I choose not to blog about are fantastic as well.
I give this another week before my world explodes, I’d say. Maybe less.
And now it’s time to read Harry Potter (I might have gone to see the 6th movie at midnight DON’T JUDGE ME) and finish painting my toenails. And dream up a TMI Thursday post, I believe.
At least that’s over
Friday was the dress fitting for the wedding of dooooom. It should have been relatively painless. It should have been me and the other bridesmaids going in and putting on our dresses and my cousin (that’s a tailor) making the marks for how much the dresses need to be taken in and that would be that.
SHOULD OF is the important part of those thoughts. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN EASY.
Heather had to be involved for some reason. So it wasn’t easy. Instead, it was just so much better. God, she’s really a wedding terror.
To start out with, she was late, which was just annoying. We all had things to do on Friday and she wasn’t even there. I put my dress on because I got tired of waiting for her. I came out of the dressing room and commented that my dress was huge (because honestly, it was. it’s 4 sizes bigger than any pair of pants that I own. It’s not right). Heather then told me that if my dress was any smaller, then it wouldn’t fit and I would cry. Did I mention they are taking in my dress by 3 inches? Yeah. that’s what I thought.
Thanks, bitch.
Heather then got into an arguement with our cousin about the length of the dresses. She wanted them to be one way and he wanted them to be another way (his way being the correct way) and it was just awkward and terrible. She didn’t want to listen to what he had to say.
Then I asked my cousin the tailor if I should come back for a second fitting. I had my first evalution with Lisa the Trainer on Thursday and since Memorial day, I’ve lost an inch from each arm, 3/4 of an inch from my chest, 2 1/2 inches from my waist and a 1/2 inch from my hips. So. That’s kind of awesome. Lisa the Trainer was the one that suggested that I should go in for a second fitting because I’m going to keep on training with her and there’s the possiblity that I will still lose a little bit more. My cousin the tailor said that it was no issue, I could come back a week before the wedding and we will see where we stand then.
Heather asked me if I really thought that I needed a second fitting. I stared daggers at her and told her that we would have to wait and find out.
I don’t understand why SHE cares if I have to go for another fitting. She’s not paying for it, she doesn’t have to come with me, it’s not even HER dress. You would think that she would be happy for me because I’m losing weight or inches or whatever and the fact that I’m going to look nice in my dress. I’m not going to look nicer than her, but I’m going to look presentable. It’s just frustrating. She needs to get a grip on her life.
I also borrowed a dress from one of my friends that I can wear to the rehearsal dinner. It’s great because I don’t have to buy a dress now. Bonus for me.
This weekend is the bridal shower and the slutty harlot I’m getting married party. That should be…something. I still haven’t gotten Heather anything, so I should do that this week. I need to email the maid of honor to see how I can help. And then I need to drink enough so that it all seems okay.
I know that my experiences with Heather are being clouded by the fact that she was such a bitch to me about things. And she’s probably not trying to be as bitchy as she’s coming off as. But it’s a wedding. Yes, it’s a very important day in her life, probably the most important. It’s not life and death. And when you’re really in love, I can’t see how what’s going on around you is going to matter. She’s being this way because she’s planning it herself. I’m not denying that’s got to be hard. But she’s a teacher, so she has the summer off. My mom has offered to help but Heather doesn’t want her to. When people offer help and you don’t take it, you can’t cry and pout and say that you’re doing it all by yourself. We get it. Shut up and get married already.
It’s becoming more clear to me. Weddings are teh suck.
Weird feelings all around
This weekend was the big blowout graduation party at my house, so I think I’m still recovering and that might add to why I feel so off. It was such a good party – none of the kids were crying, no one was fighting and everything went off without a hitch. The weather was PERFECT for the first time in a month. Seriously, a month. Jeezer Connecticut, let’s pull it together.
So needless to say, I woke up on Sunday with a massive hangover. It was not good times. I straighted myself out in time for A to come over and have some lunch with my family (tasty leftovers for all!) and then he was going to teach me to drive standard. I did okay, I think. At least A says that I did. I only stalled out a few times (..okay, 5 times) but otherwise it was good. I didn’t hurt his car either and that to me was more important. I was panicked when I first started driving mostly because I know that he LOVES his car and you know, hurting that would mean that we would no longer be friends and that would make me all sorts of sad. I told A he has to take me out again so that I can drive some more and yo uknow, not so much be with the sucking from shifting from neutral to first. That’s where my problems are. Shifting while I’m driving is no problem at all. I iz awesome.
Once we got back to my house and A reported to my brother about my driving skills, A left. Then I was totally overwhelmed by sadness. I don’t know why. I just felt like laying down and not getting back up and that weird, aching feelings took over. I was in a funk for most of the afternoon because of it. I tried to shake it but I don’t know how. Maybe I’m just lonely or something. I know I shouldn’t be because I’m always around people that I like and enjoy being around. Perhaps summertime makes me lonely because everything is alive and shiny and we haven’t seen the sun here and I just feel like blah.
Even to think about how sad I was yesterday is making me sad. You know when you hear a really sweet love song and all you can think about is being in that moment with someone that you really care about? That’s sort of what I’m going through. Except I don’t know who that person would be to go through that moment with me. I don’t know what he looks like or who he is because sometimes I’m convinced that he doesn’t actually exist. I used to have a person I would imagine would be feeling those feelings with me – and that person isn’t what I need anymore. So I’m left imagining nothing?
It’s really hard to put into words exactly what I’m feeling. I feel so alone and so alive and so sad and yet so happy (mostly because there might be sun for like, 10 minutes today. And that’s such an improvement from last week) and it’s so weird. I’m absolutely panicked about moving out (because Cupcake Land has been found, which is another post for another day) and I don’t know what to do. I need to get in control of my emotions and realize that I’m being silly. I just need to get my head straight.
I need to repeat to myself that I’m moving out and I have to reason to be worried. I need to realize that things are so much different now than they were before. I need to repeat that I won’t be sad and lonely forever because that’s just not possible. I need to smile more, laugh more, dance around more. I need to stop worrying about things I can’t change. I need to get excited about a 4 day workweek, seeing friends this weekend, finally getting my dress fitting over with, the countdown to the wedding being less than a month, possible sunshine this week, J graduating, keeping going with Lisa the Trainer, working out, changing, moving, growing, being.
Now…here’s to making these things happen.
THURSDAY…FINALLY
I’ve wanted to update for several days now, but I’ve been working like crazy and doing all sorts of stuff after work and this is the first few moments that I’ve had to blog and well…this post is going to be a mishmash of things. Here we go….
- My grandma had her hip replaced on Monday. I went to go and see her Tuesday night. She’s doing okay, but she’s in a lot of pain. And since my family is the way that they are, they are turning this into a thing because one of my uncles hasn’t shown up (he finally did last night) at the hospital yet to see my grandma, but the rest of us have. So one of my aunts called him and chewed him out but none of us can tell my grandma what’s going on and it’s all so dramatic ooooooomggggggggg.
- I saw Lisa the Trainer on Tuesday as well. I’m only seeing her once this week because it was shaping up to be a crazy week and now it’s not so much that way. We did some stuff, nothing out of control. I feel like I’m not getting anywhere productive from training, but I know most of that is my fault. Since the sun only came out today for the first time in like, a friggin’ month, all I’ve wanted to do is eat and sleep and not go and move. If it was normal Connecticut summer, I’d be sweating my ass off and the last thing I would want to do it eat too much. I’m hoping to get out of this funk soon.
- Speaking of losing weight – I got my bridesmaid dress this weekend. It’s way way WAY too big. SURPRISE! I can grab a handful of the dress in the back and twist it and the dress is still too big. It needs to be taken in a lot all over. it’s kind of insane how much it needs to be taken in. When my mom saw me in the dress, she asked how I was going to hold it up on top. Well gee Mom, I don’t know. I was hoping super glue or tape or something. Lordy.
- Sunday was this annual street festival for a small town not far from my house. Since W is a volunteer firefighter for said small town, I always go because it’s fun to see him be all big firefighter man. FOR ONCE, there was a very very cute firefighter that W knows. His name is Andy and he’s got a girlfriend that he doesn’t like. That’s all I know. Liking boys with girlfriends is as useful as liking boys that don’t even know you exist. So I told W to get me some more dirt (more for my personal amusement than anything else). I know this will amount to nothing but hey, at least I have something to distract me.
- I found out that my dad got one of these this weekend:
- It’s the same color but with black racing stripes and it’s insane and NO, I have no idea what his issue is there. Everyone else is suffering and my dad goes and buys a brand new car? Nothing makes sense at my house. But it’s totally sexy and when we drive it, people stop and look at it. It’s fun. Now I REALLY need to learn how to drive stick so I can drive that. I would totally get boys if I was driving that thing.
- Work has been crazy. I’ve been shoving so much work into my day that I don’t know how I get home and continue to think straight. But I do. There’s totally not enough time for the things that I’m expected to do during the day (and that’s not counting the time that I’m taking to blog right now) and it’s hard. I’ve been cleaning up other people’s messes, I’ve been working my tail off and really, I just can’t wait for my half day next Friday.
- Next Saturday is the graduation party for J and W. W’s graduation is tonight and J’s is on the 30th. We have invited about 120 people to the party, so god only knows what the final number will be. This doesn’t include the people that we just invited in passing, such as A or some of my friends from work. I know, it’s not my party to invite people too, but there are going to be kegs and DAMN IT, that beer should be drank. By someone. Probably not me. Wait, that’s a lie. Totally by me.
- Saturday was a big disaster – and it’s because of the wedding of doom. Heather decided she wants to make jam to give out as favors at the wedding. She’s making blueberry and strawberry jam but has no idea how to do so. My mom and my grandma and I agreed to help her. We got all the jars and everything and we just had to wait for the fruit. Well, it’s strawberry picking season here. My mom called Heather on Saturday to tell her that we would be going to pick if she could go today and to meet us somewhere in the afternoon. I was at a birthday party for a 5 year old on Saturday afternoon, which I had to leave to meet my mom and Heather. Heather asks to meet us later in the afternoon at the place. We agree. I give her the address of the berry picking place. She says that she has her GPS and she will be there within 10-15 minutes. My mom and I start picking strawberries. And overall, we pick about 20 pounds of strawberries, which is just craziness. We call Heather. We’re done picking and she’s nowhere to be seen. And why might that be? Oh, because she went to the wrong berry picking place. I gave her the address of the one my mom and I were standing at and she went to a different place. I start screaming in the strawberry patch. My mom and I had such better ways to spend a Saturday afternoon that didn’t involve picking strawberries in the rain (or playing a game called “migrant farm workers) and Heather doesn’t even show up. I was so livid I couldn’t get words out. It gets worse. She finally calls me later on to ask if we have enough strawberries and what time we are meeting the next day to start making jam. She doesn’t apologize for not showing up, nor does she thank me for spending my afternoon doing something I didn’t really whole-heartedly want to do. Then my mom gives her a call and really lays into her about how she’s being irresponsible about things and that she needs to be where she says she is going to be…which turns into Heather crying about how no one wants to help her with the wedding and she’s doing everything herself and so on. From all this, I can pretty much say I hate weddings. I do. Everyone cries and gets all worked up and it’s so not worth it. I wish I could just not be involved…but I can’t. Oh, and we still have to make the blueberry jam. Oh joy of all joys in heaven, I can’t hardly wait. We also just got an email about the bridal shower and since I’m a cranky bitch today, I just want to let lose on the maid of honor and my mom is telling me I need to say things nicely. I really don’t want to.
- The sun needs to come out soon before I go crazy and just lose my mind. I went to Alfred and the lack of sun never bothered me as much as it does now. Maybe because I was never in Alfred over the summer, when it’s supposed to be sunny. It’s really so terrible that I just don’t want to get out of bed anymore.
- There are other things that have been really strange and frustrating in my life that I just don’t have the words for. I’m so blah because of this weather that I just…I am not acting normal or something. Sunshine, please come back.
- Lilo and I are going to look at a possible Cupcake Land this weekend. And I’m getting my hair cut! AND tomorrow night I am going out with my coworker Natalie and that should be super fun and exciting.
Alright – that’s about all I got for now. I would expect a fun post from me soon IF THE SUN EVER COMES BACK. It’s a giant burning thing, you would think that we would see it every once in a while BUT NO WE CAN’T WTF LIFE?
I don’t care how close we are…
I would hardly consider myself a prude. I like sex. It doesn’t bother me to talk about it. I’m pretty open about sex – having it, not having it, people you would like to sleep with, people you wish you never slept with – whatever. I have some friends that like talking about it and then some interesting stuff comes out (that’s what she said).
However.
I got the evite to my cousin Heather’s bachelorette party and on the evite it said to “bring something for Heather to use on her wedding night or honeymoon”.
EW
This is my cousin. Yes, she’s 27 and I know she’s sleeping with her future husband and they have been living together for years – but – she still is my cousin. And my two other cousins, Jess, who is soon to be 21 and Lauren, who is soon to be 18, are going to be there. And really? Talking about sex with cousins is awkward times.
I would have less of a problem with it if it was one of my friends. I’m not entirely sure why. Possibly because they aren’t related? Regardless, I’m really grossed out by this idea and I just don’t want to play along. I really DON’T want to bring something for Heather to use after she gets married.
Besides, I’m sure that they have used lots of things already and WHY DO I SPEAK? STOP IT, SELF.
Maybe this is why I don’t like bachelorette parties? Maybe mine will be different? Of course, to have a bachelorette party, you need someone to want to marry you and I’m not there yet. And I probably won’t ever be. Anyway. Not the point.
I don’t get why we have to emphasize the sex at this party. We know that they are having sex. We’re on to it. The percentage of people that wait until they are married is so tiny that I don’t even understand why we act like everyone’s not having sex. People are having sex! Not me, but like I said – that’s neither here nor there.
I’m just totally grossed out by this entire concept. Also, I have no idea what to get her. Since I’m going, I should probably play into this nonsense – and what do you get a girl that has it all? (Or maybe has it all. I don’t know, I don’t talk sex with my cousins. I mean, that’s the problem)
And – this is the important part – if anyone ANYONE does this for me when I get married, I’m going to murder each and every one of you in a special way, okay? We’re not doing this for anything I’m getting involved in. DO YOU HEAR?
Uh, so…what do I get her? Anyone?
Getting my ass kicked…
Last night was my evaluation session with my new trainer. She’s my mom’s friend’s daughter and I’ve known her since I was little…but we were never close or anything. She’s very nice and sweet and I think that she’ll be a good trainer for me.
Regardless. She measured me (that was sad) and weighed me and got my BMI and all sorts of other things that reminded me that losing 40 pounds still makes you fat. I kind of wanted to cry.
Then she had me do sit ups. I did like 50 of those. Then I did a punch of pushups. Then I did jumping jacks. Then I did some squats. It was allllllllll just so much great fun. This morning I woke up and I wondered why my shoulders were sore. I thought it was because I slept in a ball curled up on my side (which I don’t normally do). Then I remembered the 15 pushups I did (from my knees, not actual ones) and now I can understand.
Basically, I’ll be seeing her twice a week and doing cardio things 3 times a week and having my ass kicked and I think that’s the way that it needs to be. I’d like to tone myself up for the wedding, but you never know if that will actually work. I know that Lisa (that would be the trainer) did a great job helping her mom out and her mom lost like, 5 inches from her waist or something. Of course, I have no idea how often they met or what they did or how long that took.
But it’s almost June, I’ll be seeing her twice a week for a little over a month and I can maybe get something done in the 2 months leading up until the wedding, right? Yes, I hope so. It’s already bad enough that my dress has to be taken in just about everywhere, but as long as it is, let’s make it have to be taken in more. Maybe I can be kinda cute at the wedding? Yes?
If that makes sense. Which I don’t think it does.
But expect to get updates every time I go to the trainer. If I can move my arms, that is. Otherwise maybe I’ll just hit my head on the keyboard and hope that words come out.
I know I had a bad week this week and that I gained weight, but whatever. Today is hitting the reset button and I’m going back to eating like a normal person that eats when they are hungry and not when they want to cry at work. Or cry because they are fat. Or something like that. Eating because you feel fat doesn’t really make much sense either. I know I could have had all sorts of bad things last night…and I just had a Dr. Pepper. A REGULAR ONE, OMG. But it was sooooooooo good. I needed that. It was my one sweet thing.
Also, I got sort of into playing rock band last night and now my voice is sort of gone. Way to go. I can’t be trusted with video games either.
