Random Nonsense

December 1, 2009 at 9:47 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

Hey, do you remember how I used to blog about things? I remember when I used to do that.

I don’t anymore. It’s not because I’m busy or I have an exciting life, it’s because I have nothing to do and no one to interact with and there’s nothing to say. But it was just Thanksgiving, I just saw my family and hell, what more can I talk about?

  • I went on an interview the week before Thanksgiving.  I got an email back from the company the next day, saying that I made it to the next round and I needed to make a sales sheet for them.  Guess what I’ve never done before?  Make a sales sheet.  So I googled sales sheets and did the best I could with it.  Except I still think what I did is crap.  As Lilo said, no matter what I did, I would think it to be crap.  She’s right.  I’m waiting to hear back from them this week.  If nothing happens, then nothing happens and I’m in the same position I’m in now.
  • That position is broke, in case you wanted to know.
  • I apparently developed a lovely caffeine problem at some point.  Now I need to start my day with coffee or else my head pounds all day.  Way to go, self.
  • I weighed myself while I was at my parents house over Thanksgiving.  I didn’t weigh as much as I think I did (that’s before I went on a 3 day eating and drinking binge) and that’s good.  But I still feel like a whale.  I need a job so I can get back to the gym/trainer.
  • I ordered a dress for my friend’s wedding in September.  I know it’s early, but the dress was on SALE and I really like the dress otherwise.  It’s something I would have maybe ordered anyway if I had lots of extra money.  But since I don’t, I wasn’t looking for dresses and yeah.  It should be here today and I am very excited about it.
  • It’s Christmas time!  It’s one of my favorite times of year.  I enjoy the smells of Christmas and the activities and the food and the people I get to see.  So, no complaints here.  Except the fact that this year is going to suck for presents for everyone I know.  Sorry guys.  You know I love you.
  • Speaking of presents, I need to bitch about something.  I ordered Lilo a present for her birthday (which was October 18th) from Etsy on October 5th.  The info on the page said that everything was shipped within 7-12 days.  That was fine – it would still make Lilo’s birthday.  Now it’s the 1st of December and IT IS STILL NOT HERE.  The seller has about a million reviews and everyone seems to be getting their things…just 2 months late.  The seller is not answering emails or messages on etsy.  I’m very annoyed and you better believe that they are getting a fucking snarky ass review on their website.  If something is going to take 2 months, that’s fine.  Say that!  Then I don’t get annoyed.  I HATE EVERYONE.
  • Thanksgiving was pretty okay.  It was a small crowd this year (only 18 people.  Yes, that’s small) and an all right today.  Thursday would have been my grandpa’s 79th birthday, so it was a little sad around the table, but otherwise there was lots of shouting  and drinking and more shouting.  You know, like you do.  Very uneventful, but at least there was a lot of booze.  There were not a lot of mixers.  At one point, I was drinking absolut and cran-apple.  At least it’s better than the Christmas where my aunt and I were drinking grey goose and juicy-juice.  It was a bad year.
  • I had an interview with a staffing agency yesterday.  Let’s see where that goes.

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It’s been a month

September 15, 2009 at 10:46 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

And still no job.  No interviews.  A whole bunch of nothing, really.  But I have been doing all sorts of interesting things with my free time.

  • Making a baby blanket for one of Lilo’s coworkers that just got pregnant.  As far as complicated patterns go, it’s not even close to being hard.  I can knit this pattern with my eyes closed.  It’s very very relaxing.
  • I’m also working on a pair of socks.  Once I finish those socks, I have to work on more socks for Pam.  And then more socks.  Lots of socks up in this biatch.
  • And a scarf.  I’m knitting a scarf for myself with some scraps that I have from another scarf.
  • Finally, I’m working on a blanket that I started for my parents literally like, 2 years ago.  I ran out of the correct color of yarn and then couldn’t find it again.  I found the correct color (or what I think is the right color – it’s not white or off white or ecru – so it has to be cream).  If that’s not the right color, I will keep on looking.
  • All the cooking I’ve been doing has also been preoccupying my time.  I make dinner for Lilo quite often.  I’m home all day and she works all day and cooking is a good way to keep me amused.  I’ve made all sorts fun dishes.  I made something that my mom calls “chicken in a pot”.  It’s chunks of chicken in some orzo with mushrooms.  Nom nom nom very good.  Lilo and I have had a lot of BLTs as well.  They are fantastic every time.  Last week I made chicken breasts stuffed with goat cheese, spring onions and parsely.  They were very tasty and good, although the flavors are sort of overwhelming.  Very good  I win.
  • I’ve also been baking like a fool.  I’ve made chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, brownie things and chocolate cupcakes.  Lilo and I are also making all sorts of things this week because we are so busy and popular.  
  • I was in Vermont last weekend.  It was sort of fun, although very very exhausting.  I was glad to be back in Cupcake Land and in my own bed.  Sleeping on the ground for 2 nights really does a number on your back.  My family has this huge party in Vermont the weekend after Labor Day every year.  This year’s theme was the circus, which is funny because my family is the circus.  Basically when you’re at the party, all you do is eat and drink and drink and eat and eat and drink and burn things.  You know, all really good things to do when you’ve had too much to drink.  No one drank as much this year as they did last year when it rained the whole time and we were confined to the garage.  It was a big improvement.
  • This week is also busy.  Tomorrow night I am going into the city to see Ingird Michaelson.  I’m very very excited.  Thursday night some of Lilo’s coworkers are coming over for dinner and dessert.  Friday night I’ll be laying low.  Saturday, Lilo and I are going to NJ to see her dad and his family.  Then one of Lilo’s friends is having a party that I have been invited to.  These people don’t even know me and I’m sure they will be sad to know me when all is said and done.  On Sunday, A is coming over to make Lilo and I dinner.  Man, I so win.
  • I have Lyme now!  Very exciting.  I wake up with headaches and I’m tired like all the time.  It makes me mostly miserable and it’s probably good that I am funemployed because I feel so shitty mostly.  I can be on antibiotics for a month and then they get taken away.  Hopefully I’ll start feeling better soon.  The antibiotics also make me dizzy and make me want to vomit.  I’m not sure what’s worse at this point.
  • I also screwed up my hand again.  That might have something to do with the fact that knitting and playing the wii for hours on end really make it more bothersome.  When will I learn my lesson?
  • I can’t stop watching Grey’s Anatomy.  I want to, but I can’t.  It’s another fun fact about being funemployed.
  • My birthday is in about a week.  I’m not ready for it and truthfully, not excited for it at all.  Usually I get really jazzed up about it.  But this year, I feel like I would rather have it go by unnoticed by everyone.  Lilo keeps on encouraging me to get people together to have dinner or something for my birthday, but I can’t bring myself to do it.  I just feel like I have no one to invite (that’s a lie) and that no one would want to come (lie) and that everyone is simply too busy (that’s probably true).  I’m not sure how I’m going to play this one off, but every time someone brings up my birthday, I want to cry.  I’m really not much of a fan of people anymore.  

 

Wow, what a pleasant post.  I can’t imagine why someone wouldn’t want to hang out with me.  Now it’s back to bad TV and knitting and wondering when my head is going to stop pounding.

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DONE

September 8, 2009 at 5:46 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

I’ve been out of a job for about a month now (in case maybe you don’t know how to read or something).  It hasn’t been the most fun month, but there’s not a lot of jobs out there.  So I do what I can and apply to things that I would be qualified for and that’s kind of how my day goes.

And then there’s my mother.

Maybe I haven’t really touched base on this much here, but my mom is kind of a raging bitch.  She’s not very supportive of anything that I do, she doesn’t help with my general self esteem problems and she’s just basically the devil.  When I got laid off, she asked if it was because of my work performance.  THANKS MOM YOU ARE SO HELPFUL RIGHT NOW.  She has been reminding me of all my failures in my life lately, because I need to know those, I guess?  She’s been sort of nasty and mean and entirely not helpful.

I’ve been feeling like shit for a while now – mostly since I lost my job.  It’s a huge blow to your life, mostly because you know, when you have a job that you like and it gets taken away, that sucks.  A lot. 

That kind of goes without saying though.

Anyway, my mom has taken it upon herself to tell EVERYONE that she knows that I am no longer employed.  I’m sure that the best way for me to find a new job is to find someone that works somewhere that can help get me in and you know, make me be more than just a piece of paper.  HOWEVER – my mom is telling her patients at work that I don’t have a job.  She’s telling just about everyone that she knows that I don’t have a job.  There are people that don’t even know me that know that I am unemployed and looking for work.  Then these people start talking to me and asking me how things are and so on and it’s like – you shouldn’t know that I don’t have a job.  But everyone does.  It’s bothersome.  I wish she would just STOP talking about it.  I feel like crap, other people are making me feel like crap (for other reasons, which I might talk about in a moment) and I would really love her to not be that way.

But I can’t tell her not to tell anyone because then she tells me that I’m being a brat or being unappreciative or something.  The fact is that I didn’t ask for her help – in fact, I don’t even want her help.  She doesn’t want to help me because she wants me to get back on my feet.  She wants to help me so that she can be right.  She LOVES being right.  It makes her happier than just about anything else.  So if she knows the person that ends up helping me get a job, then she’s right and I’m wrong (even though there’s no way for me to be wrong) and that makes her happy.

It’s screwed up.

The other thing that is making me completely insane is the way that she’s been acting about things regarding money when it comes to me having no job.  I’m not going to say that I’m completely broke, but you know, money is tight.  I’m only spending money on groceries and gas and really nothing else – I got pizza when my brother J was visiting on Saturday night and otherwise, I haven’t gotten so much as a sandwich out.  I know that it’s not something that I can do.  My grandparents (my mom’s parents, actually) have offered to help me out if I ever needed some cash for something – rent, loan payments for school, doctors visits if I don’t have insurance – and my parents haven’t.  I don’t want to take advantage of my grandparents that way.  I really hope it will never come to that.  But it’s nice to know that if it did, I could ask them and they would help me out.

I have gotten no such offer from my parents.

I wasn’t banking on them offering to help me out financially if I needed it, but you would think that maybe they would, knowing that I’m in a bit of a spot right now (having just moved out and all).  They haven’t and I know they won’t.  If my mom never offers, my dad won’t offer either – but then again, he only says 10 words to me every time he sees me.  So when I told my mom that I owed Lisa the Trainer some money because she trained me, my mom just told me that she already paid the part that she agreed to pay.  She didn’t say that she would cover it because she knows that things are rough where I am.  She just glared. 

The most that she’s done is bought me a few groceries.  I’m not saying that it’s not helpful and I don’t appreciate it or anything like that.  I’m saying WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?

Every afternoon my mom calls me and tells me how I could you know, fix my life.  I don’t need her telling me this.  I don’t need her helping me out this way.  A has told me about 400 times that I should just ignore her and smile politely and say thank you.  I can’t.  She gets under my skin in ways that I didn’t think human beings could.  She is not doing it out of kindness, but out of the way that she NEEDS to micromanage my life.  Micromanage anyone’s life, actually.

So.

This leads to lots of shouty time in Cupcake Land, many afternoons of me crying and me hanging up on my mom about 5 times a week.  I can’t take her.  I would stop answering the phone – that’s what I should do.  But she keeps on calling and calling and CALLING AND OMG CAN YOU PLEASE STOP?

Self esteem is at an all time low as of late.  I don’t like being around many people, I don’t like pretending to be having fun and I’m sort of not looking forward to an entire weekend with my family.  I’m stuck going and when I first said that I was going, it was when I had a job.  Things have changed a lot since then.

I’m realizing who the people are that I want to have around.  I can’t thank those people enough for being there for me.  When this is all said and done, I hope that I’ll be back to my normal self.  Soon. 

Very soon.

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Welcome to my neighborhood

September 7, 2009 at 9:02 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

I haven’t posted in basically forever.  That wasn’t my plan.  I guess my long days of doing nothing have gotten away from me.  I do cook and bake a lot and go for walks every day – but blogging has been out of my mind.  Even my google reader is totally out of control.  I can’t bring myself to mark all of them as read, but maybe I will have to if I can’t get through everything.  Man, my life is so hard.

Anyway.

I haven’t really said much about Cupcake Land.  We live in a very interesting neighborhood, to say the least.  Here’s a quick (and absolutely incomplete) rundown of the people that live here too.

  • The Lady Next Door – We haven’t really talked to her all that much and you would think that we would, given that she’s just on the other side of the wall.  But we don’t.  Her mother lives in the apartment with her, as well as her daughter.  And then there’s her dog.  Julie.  Julie is a tiny little terrier of some form.  Julie is allowed to just roam around the neighborhood, going wherever she pleases.  This is a dog that I could basically step on and crush and the dog is running around, trying to avoid being hit by cars.  WTF? 
  • The Douchebag Across the Street – This guy I decided I hated really early on.  Seriously.  He’s a twatwaffle for sure.  He drives a corvette (maybe a 2001 or a 2002) and it’s all black – the windows are tinted really dark, the rims on his tires are black – you get what I mean.  But this car, which should be a nice piece of muscle car, is not.  He’s got a hole in his exhaust and instead of his car sounding sexy, it makes a putputput noise.  REALLY LOUDLY.  ALL THE TIME.  He drives the car like an asshole.  It wakes me up when I’m asleep.  I hate this man.  I do not know who he is, but I hate him.  Whenever he comes home, I start shouting out the window that I will end him.  Because really?   FIX YOUR FUCKING EXHAUST.
  • Crazypants and Jake – This family lives diagionally across from us.  There are about 4 boys that live there – the oldest one can’t be older than 7.  Jake is the youngest one and he gets yelled at ALL THE TIME.  He’s a troublemaker, that Jake.  His mother shouts at him and tells him that he can’t go outside or can’t go inside or that she’s not going to take a picture of him.  You wonder why he’s such a pain in the ass.  Then we realized who his father is.  His father was trimming the lawn last weekend in pajama pants with candy canes on them.  In the summer.  In the front lawn.  Dude – really?  You can’t even put on shorts?  Two days ago, he was grilling in the driveway wearing tie-dye parachute pants.  No, he really was.  We don’t know why he dresses like this, but damn, it’s amusing.
  • The Creepo Whistleblower – There’s this very very old man that lives in the house behind ours.  One of the first days that we were in the house, we saw him sitting on a rock in between our yard and their yard.  We thought he was dead.  He wasn’t moving and his dog wasn’t moving and WTF?  We then found out that he liked to sit on that rock in the backyard and LOOK AT LILO while she was in the bathroom.  We had to get curtains – and fast.  This Creepo Whistleblower Old Man also walks around the block about 20 times a day.  I’m not kidding – he’s always walking around the block with his tiny little dog that has to be just as old as he is.  I don’t know why they walk around so much, but they do.  When the dog gets lost or something, the Creepo Old Man starts blowing a whistle.  Like a whistle like a soccer coach or a ref would use.  It took me over a month to figure out who the hell was blowing that whistle, but I did on Saturday.  DAMN YOU CREEPO OLD MAN.  I hate that he watches us all the time.  What a freaky weirdo.
  • Duffduffduff – There’s a pug that lives further down the street.  He’s outside more or less the time.  He doesn’t have the ability to bark or something, so instead of barking, he makes a noise that sounds like “DUFFDUFFDUFF”.  Lilo and I love it.  We walk by his house and taunt him on purpose just so that he will bark. 
  • The Children – There are about 30 kids in this neighborhood.  There are a lot of families here and they apparently all don’t use birth control.  These kids spend their afternoons running around the neighborhood SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS DON’T YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE OMG SCREAMING TIME.  It’s really hard to not go outside and smack all of them.  If they were out in a field screaming or running around in the park screaming – that’s fine.  But they are in a busy neighborhood with cars zipping by and I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T FUCKING SCREAM I AM GOING TO BEAT YOU ALL.  It’s really annoying.  These are like, 13 year old boys.  I know they don’t know any better, but still.  Shut up before I shut you up.  FOREVER.
  • The Lady – I only saw this lady once.  It was such a magical experience, I almost drove into a tree.  I was driving up the street and I saw an overweight woman, somewhere between age 19 and 30, in brightly colored leggings…riding a big wheel.  In her driveway.  I haven’t figured out where exactly she lives or why she did that, but I long to see it again.  It was amazing.  SRSLY.
  • The Dog – This dog lives in the house next to where the Creepo Whistleblower Old Man lives.  The family leaves the dog outside so the dog barks.  All day.  The dog just barks all day.  The family is in the house and the dog is BARKING and OMG.  I love dogs.  I really do.  I understand that they bark sometimes and that’s fine.  But when a dog has been barking all day?  Could you please let the dog in or go outside or something so that I don’t completely lose my mind?  Plz?

That’s just the quick rundown of people who live here that are not as cool as Lilo and I.  I mean, that’s basically everyone that isn’t as cool as Lilo and I, but they don’t know that.  They damn well should, however.  I will be sure to tell them.

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