Getting away
This weekend…in 3 short days….I will be in Vermont.
I’ve never been so excited to go away for no good reason. We’re not doing anything special, the weather isn’t even going to be nice. But the idea of going somewhere and being able to do just about nothing – amazing.
I know I was on “vacation” for like, 8 months. It wasn’t the same. I was stressed and sad and cranky all the time. But going to a place that I’ve known and loved since childhood is kind of ideal.
I can spend the whole weekend relaxing. I won’t be at the animal shelter (don’t get me wrong, I love that. But I spend basically my whole Saturday there). I don’t have to worry about grocery shopping (at least until Monday). I won’t have to worry about laundry or what needs to get done or what I’m going to wear next week – because I’m going to be somewhere that it doesn’t matter.
And there’s going to be booze. Lots and lots of it. Actually, my job is to bring the booze to Vermont. And bring it I shall.
So for the next few days, my insanely happy and disturbing mood is all because I’m leaving…wahoo!
Well, I had a topic
I was going to blog for the first time in like, weeks. I had a topic! I was going to write about making friends at my new temp job and how I want everyone to be my friend or at least have someone to have lunch with.
Also, there are many many boys there – and they are always milling about and I want to be their friends, but I’m too awkward in my own body to communicate with them.
AND THEN
Then I got offered a job in my field, paying better than I had been making at any job before, with an office with a gym and HEALTH insurance and VISION insurance and a 401K and you know A FULL TIME PERMANENT JOB.
So really, who cares if I make friends at the place I’m at now? I’ve been there for a week and this Friday is my last day. So huzzah for that and SOON I will have blog topics because SOON I will be employed just like the rest of you.
I am so excited for this there are no words to describe it. It’s been the longest 8 months ever. It’s worst than being pregnant (or so I’ve heard). But now it’s done and I can get back to being an adult again.
Or something like that.
The perfect interview
Before I go on about what my life SHOULD be like, can I just say how impressed with myself I am? Tonight I went out with a boy that I was very sure that I wouldn’t get along with because he is nice and kind and GOES TO CONFESSION and you know, is a nerd. A big nerd. The D&D, World of Warcraft kind of nerd. Actually, he doesn’t know that he almost lost his head when he mentioned WoW, but seriously, it was close.
But I went out with him and had dinner with him and was nice and polite and told him that I would like to hang out with him again. That part is not a lie. He is really nice. I would not like to date him. He doesn’t know that I would crush him, but I know. He’s the sort of boy I would manipulate until there was nothing left. I realize this and act accordingly. I am win.
Anyway, not what this post is about.
I’ve been on many interviews in the 6 months that I’ve been funemployed. At least 10. Most were okay, one was really terrible and there have been a few good ones. Nothing has landed me the new job that I NEED to keep my sanity about me. I’m waiting, patiently, but I’m getting more frustrated than I was and would really like a job. NOW. PLZ TO HIRE.
Having gone on all these interviews, I have a thought of how my perfect interview would go. It doesn’t involve me walking in the door and having them just hand me a fabulous job (though that would be nice). No, it goes more like this….
I walk into the office, looking fabulous in my suit that I feel awkward in all the time. I don’t need to wear fatass reducing spanx because I am that fabulous. My hair is doing all the things I want it to do and my make up doesn’t look like a 5 year old did it. I am amazing. I smile and everyone just thinks “WOW, we love this girl!”
I walk into the office of the very important and fancy person that makes the decisions in this place. We chat for a few minutes about the weather, or TV, or something else. Very important and fancy person asks me about myself and I tell them about my wonderful education at Alfred and my time at B&N and my crappy job after that and that I was laid off from the job that I loved. I inform them that I have been volunteering with all my free time and love baking more than anything else.
This somehow turns into a discussion about the Venture Bros. And music. And pie. I don’t trip over my words, I come off as bright and charming (I think I’m that way in interviews anyway. Could be wrong though) and I’m wonderful.
I am NOT all socially awkward and unable to think of something smart to say. In fact, I say all the right things. I somehow magically come up with a new business plan for this company. Very important and fancy person is so impressed that they say that they will call me in the next few days.
And in this interview dream of mine, THEY CALL ME. LIKE THEY SAID THAT THEY WOULD. I talk to their HR person, who is actually helpful and they give me a job. I go to work and enjoy it and love it there and everyone loves me. I make enough baked goods to give everyone diabetes, but no one cares because they are just so happy that I am the new member to the team.
Then I find some boy there that is just perfect and we fall in love and OMG perfect wedding.
Okay, maybe not that last part. But I dream of the interview where all goes well, everyone says what they mean and no one tells me that they are “looking to make a decision quickly”, or “needed to have someone yesterday” or “really need to get the ball rolling on this one”. They don’t say that they will contact me in a week with no intentions to do so. They answer the phone when I call.
I know I’ve had too much time by myself when this is my dream. My dream is to have an interview go right. It’s not to meet the man of my dreams or win millions of dollars or cure some terrible illness that is affecting millions or even just make pie crust from scratch.
It’s to have someone like me enough to give me a job.
I need to get out of the house more. Preferably because I have a job. Along those same lines, I need a job so that I can buy more shoes and underpants and concert tickets and unnecessary clothing and stuff for the wedding that I am going to be in and plane tickets and a new gym membership and sessions with my trainer and attachments for the Cuisinart mixer (yeah, I said it. There’s an attachment that you can use to make ice cream. Don’t judge). I also need a job so that I can afford to live. That’s an after thought though.
I just really need the damn shoes.
So much love in Cupcake Land
From Lilo - Good lord indeed. I am all psyched to eat my pasta and broccoli for lunch.
The wedding (I know you’ve all been waiting!)
Or not.
See if I care.
Right, so the wedding was this past weekend. Even after all my bitching and moaning and complaining and crying – it turned out to be okay. Heather was pleasant and only yelled at us once (because she was looking for a fight), the weather was beautiful and everything went off without a hitch.
And A? He was the best wedding date ever.
I went up to my grandparents house in Vermont on Thursday afternoon. I had my cousin Lauren in the car and we were following my grandparents. My uncle and my cousin Jess were already at the house. I totally would have never found the house by myself. I haven’t been to the house since I was like, 10. It was weird being back there and sleeping in my old bed. There’s a giant loft upstairs with 7 beds in it (because there are 7 grandkids) and just Lauren and I slept up there.
My uncle made us all breakfast on Friday morning, which was very lovely. I can’t tell you the last time someone made me a big breakfast like that. We then headed over to the inn to see Heather and get ready for the rehearsal and all that fun stuff.
The inn was beautiful. The view from the house that Heather and Tony (her new husband) and all their friends were staying in was just amazing. It was a BEAUTIFUL house.

We had lunch, checked into our rooms, moved stuff around and prepared for dinner. There was a BBQ up at the Jewel (that was the name of the house, yes it had a name. I know that’s weird) on Friday night for everyone. A was meeting me up at the house and I was so glad that he did. He really was a good buffer and just a great person to have around. People kept on suggesting that I should date him (HA! FUNNY STORY GUYS) and telling me how nice he was. Like maybe I didn’t know. At least he was able to keep me away from my parents so I didn’t slip and tell them about my upcoming funemployment.
Saturday morning we were up early to get our hair done down in Rutland. The lady that did my hair started out by putting it in giant sausage curls and then doing…something with it. I don’t know how they got my hair that way, but they did. There were 28 bobby pins holding that shit in place. I have to say, it really did hold up for a good 13-14 hours, through the wind and dancing and other tomfoolery. The necklace in the below photo? Heather made those necklaces for all the bridesmaids. You know, just in case getting married and planning a wedding wasn’t enough fun for her.

We grabbed lunch and the lady that did our makeup came by. I felt like a painted up doll and very awkward, but everyone tells me that I looked great. I just felt so weird in my own body. When A came up to the Jewel to get my camera, he kept on telling me how pretty I looked. And that’s more or less what everyone on facebook is saying too. But it was just weird.
The ceremony was short and sweet. The weather was perfect. Heather looked like a dream and Tony is so handsome. We took pictures up on the hill, took pictures with Tony’s Defender and then went down to cocktail hour (WHOO!) and that’s when the fun really began.
I just started drinking. A lot. Hard. As I had just lost my job, I needed to drink. The wedding was actually a really good distraction. Dinner was so good and we danced the night away. Really. It started out by everyone dancing to songs we all knew – and the night ended with us dancing to “She thinks my tractor’s sexy” and “Save a horse, ride a cowboy”. The reception was loud, the music was pumping and there was so much booze. I ditched my shoes and was dancing around barefoot with my cousins. Heather broke the bustle on her dress and didn’t care.
And A, bless him, put up with all of it. He was like the best wedding date. My grandma thought he was fabulous (and couldn’t stop telling me so) and he was so charming and engaging. I know I sort of threw him in the deep end because he didn’t know anyone at the wedding besides my family, but he did so well. He helped to keep my mind off the fact that I had no job, he looked great, he smelled fabulous AND I got him to dance. To Billie Jean. I win. I can’t ever thank him enough for being awesome wedding date guy, but Lilo says that he probably owes me for something anyway. Thanks Lilo.
Sunday morning there was brunch for Heather and Tony. A and I got up and went to brunch and I was nursing a nasty hangover. So nasty was this hangover that I was cursing children as they walked down the stairs. It was nice. We thought we had to check out at 11, but when we went to the front desk, they told us that we could stay a bit later. I went back to the room and took a nap and that made all the difference in the world. Suddenly I didn’t want to kill EVERYONE, I just wanted to kill some people.
The rest of the wedding party was up at the Jewel, as was my car. We drove back up there, packed up all the cars, loaded up everyone and we were on our way back to Connecticut. I had a 6 foot grill in the back of my car and a whole bunch of tiki torches. A had all my clothing, my dress, everything. Everyone’s stuff was in like, 4 different cars. It was at least amusing. We had a 6 car parade to get back to Connecticut and we all got seperated on the way home.
But I beat everyone back to Heather’s house and that’s what matters.
A was stopping by my house and I asked him to pick up pizza for me because on Sunday, I was so hungry and hungover still kinda and I just wanted to collapse. Also, my family left from Vermont to go to Cape Cod and I am watching the house this week (they come home tonight, thank god). And A did me one better. He stopped, got pizza, GOT ME ROOT BEER, brought all my shit into the house and fed evil demon Ollie. Man, he was really bringing his A game this weekend. I was so thrilled when I walked in the house and discovered all these things, I almost shouted “I LOVE YOU!”
I stopped myself. I often shout at that my friends when they do things that I like. But I realized that he doesn’t know that yet and we’re not exactly at the stage in our friendship where I would shout that at him. I didn’t want him to take it the wrong way. So I just thought it and fell down on the couch.
And that was Heather’s wedding weekend. Now I’m done. I can’t even believe it. The entire summer is like, done with – and so is the wedding. I can take time to relax now and enjoy my new place. Maybe. Sort of.
Where have I been?
Not blogging, that’s for sure. I didn’t mean for it to be like this, blog. Really. I kept on opening the page and staring into your blank text box, hoping something would happen. Other things would tear me away. I’m back now and I promise I’ll be good. I’ll never look at another blog again.
Don’t hate me, blog. I swear I only have hands for you. Mostly.
Again, ick.
There are about 900 things that have happened since I last blogged. It’s been a busy time in my life. The bridal shower and bachelorette party both happened and it was actually okay. Heather was late to the bridal shower but it worked out because the food wasn’t cooking correctly. She was nice and lovely and she was the old Heather that I really enjoy being around. Even the bachelorette party wasn’t terrible. Nothing was icky or weird or out of control.
For her present – the thing that she needed for her honeymoon – I actually ended up getting her 2 toothbrushes and some toothpaste. Heather got all excited because I wrapped it up in an anthropologie box and she thought it was something from there. WRONG. I thought one of the girls at the party was going to pee herself she was laughing so hard. Everyone really loved my idea and I was win about it.
Lilo and I also got the keys to Cupcake Land that weekend. It’s crazy to think that I will be moving out in 2 weeks…but back for a week to mind the animals while my family is in Cape Cod. I’ve moved some of my stuff over and that’s a start. We have a table there and everything. It’s weird to imagine not living here, but good, mostly because if I lived here any longer, someone would get killed. And by someone, I mean my mom. She brings out the best in me. Or the worst. Or something. Once I’m out, I know lots of things will be different.
Some things, however, will not change.
In Cupcake Land, there will still be shouty time. Shouty time is the time of the day or night or afternoon where you just shout. You can shout at other people, you can shout at things that don’t exist or you can just shout to shout. At least once a day is shouty time at my house. Sometimes it’s when I wake up to start my morning. Sometimes it’s before we all go to bed when my mom is being crazy. But shouty time will come with me to Cupcake Land. It’s actually sort of relaxing sometimes, just to shout at things. I’m glad Lilo will embrace shouty time. It’s good for everyone. Or just me and her.
Other than moving into Cupcake Land and upcoming wedding stuff, life has been rather dull. Work has been…well, tense to say the least. We lost our biggest client and it’s scary times at work. BStP called a meeting today and helped to calm our fears. We have good things coming down the road for us and that’s exciting. He’s going to help get us out of this mess and we’ll be a better company for it.
I’m so sweet and sentimental sometimes.
I’ve been in a really good mood the past 2 weeks. I smile a lot and I mean it when I say nice things, as opposed to lying through my teeth to everyone except my friends. I care about what people have to say. I’m really rather charming and lovely on the outside, but still my normal evil self on the inside. I’m not complaining. I feel good, I like how I look as of late and things in my life are looking up. We’re almost done with Heather’s wedding (3 weeks!), my dear friend Cashelle just got engaged (OMG LOVE YOU) and other things that I choose not to blog about are fantastic as well.
I give this another week before my world explodes, I’d say. Maybe less.
And now it’s time to read Harry Potter (I might have gone to see the 6th movie at midnight DON’T JUDGE ME) and finish painting my toenails. And dream up a TMI Thursday post, I believe.
And we’re done
Heather called me again to see if I wanted to go bridesmaid dress shopping today with her and Track Superstar cousin. So I did. And there was more crying and more texts to A about how I didn’t want to go.
But I did.
And we got the dress. The color is bordeaux. Also? I got wacked for being a fat bridesmaid and there was an additional $10 charge for my dress. The sizes are all wrong though and not normal sizes…so instead of being the normal size like my pants, I’m 3 sizes bigger. Way to make a girl feel good, Pricilla.
