So I’m a winner now?

Just in case you were wondering – yes, I’m still alive

July 20, 2010 at 9:32 am (Uncategorized) (Bitches be CRAZY, boys i don't date, everyone is pissing me off now, I've said it before and I'm saying it again - boys are dumb, self involved much?, the inmates run the asylum)

Hey – do you remember the last time I blogged about a month and a half ago? OMG ME TOO. And guess what? Not a whole lot has happened since then. I mean, nothing is really going on in my life. Here’s the quick rundown….
- My trainer has been on vacation for the past 2 weeks so I’ve been doing workouts that she had come up with. It was going along fine until one day when I was at the gym at work and these 2 skinny blonde bitches were doing squats with weights and one of them says to the other one “working out is easy!” and bitch almost got killed. She doesn’t know how good she has it. My trainer is back now and she really pushed me last night – which was good. I needed to feel that burn in my muscles again. We’re going to up it to 4 times a week until we both go on vacation. So if I’m dead? That’s why.
- My managers at work keep on shouting “BALLS AND LOGS!” because apparently there is some product that we’re advertising that is cheese and it comes in balls and logs. Honestly, why would you just say balls and logs? Throw the word cheese in there. It’s not going to hurt us.
- Girls at work? Still terrible bitches. Just in case you thought MAYBE that they weren’t.
- Hey, did you vote for livitluvit to be the next MTV TJ? You damn well should.
- For the first time since I was in high school, I’m going on vacation with my family. We’re going to Cape Cod in August. My family always rents this crazy house for our entire crazy family to stay in for the week. So it should be something. I will only be there for a few days, but I’m sure it will be long enough. I need to ramp up my drinking skills because I don’t know if I can keep up with these people. And before you go thinking I’m a lightweight, they all start drinking vodka at 9:30 in the morning and then keep on drinking sitting in the sun all day. That’s hardcore. That’s even more hardcore than I am. So, if all else fails, at least I will be drunk for 5 days straight.
- I’m not going to be at the shelter for the next few weeks, which is good. I’m starting to get burned out from the shelter and when I start to get burned out with something, that’s about the time that I decide I don’t want to do it anymore. But the chance of seeing the cute boy makes me go back. Also because there’s a dog there that I absolutely love and could never adopt, but I like to play with her and shout at her. Well, not shout at her. But totally play with her. She weighs all of 12 pounds and like, bounces off the walls. And sometimes I pick her up and carry her around. I don’t like tiny little dogs, but I totally love this one. She just got adopted last week and I didn’t get to see her before she went, but I know that she has a good new family that will love her.
- I’ve had about a thousand bottles of water today. Don’t know why I’m so thirsty, but the only thing it does is make me have to pee every 45 minutes. I’m like an old person or something.
- The most terrible and awful of the bitches around here – The Queen Bitch Who Declares My Hair Is Too Short – is leaving! Huzzah! She’s going to be a teacher or something. That’s a scary thought. She’s not terribly patience or terribly smart. But she’ll be gone on the 30th and maybe something good will come of that. Maybe the girls around here will be nicer. But honestly? Probably not.
- A few months ago, my cousin tried to set me up with some guy that is a friend of her husband’s. The only problem is that this guy is a HOPELESS disaster. He has no idea what girls want to talk about. He thinks that girls really like to talk about poop and farts and LOVE to see videos of dogs humping. I have a pretty good sense of humor – but I’m still a girl. If you like me, don’t tell me about the biggest poop you’ve ever seen. This is not a turnon. Actually, it’s a turn off. He also texted me once – and the first thing he said to me was “womanboob”. Don’t ask me what the hell that means. I’m still trying to figure that one out. Then he went off to be a park ranger up in Maine. He was trying to convince us all to drive 10 hours up to Maine. And the last 100 miles of that journey? They are on logging roads. I DON’T THINK SO. Anyway, he came back to Connecticut because he was fired. From being a park ranger. I didn’t know that could happen. And now he’s all like “LET’S GET HAMMERED” and I do not want to get drunk with him and so I’m trying to dodge him. I might be starting to miss the boy drama in my life, but not so much that I would want him to come in and just be a friggin’ idiot about everything related to girls. That’s just more than I can handle.
- The summer is about halfway over. When did that happen? It makes me sort of sad. But at least I have a tan!